Jolies' Thought's In Text......

Jolies' Thought's In Text......

this is where i start..... makes is more the challenge to start here then at the bottom of the page lol...

08/06/2004 Another day has come and gone... and here i sit waiting for sleep to take over... it is 1043pm.. amazing, i can sleep at night now... was... a month or so that i slept during the day and up at night.. he he he lol... well gonna finish with this update and head off to bed.. good night all and HUGS!!! Always !!! Jolie

07/31/2004 Sitting here, looking at the page... have been for weeks, forgot the password... makes it harder to update... I have the password in a safe place now.... =0) maybe... just maybe.. there is a good change I might have it a little longer this time... i have a dozen pictures i need to post on here... i was thinking of transfering this page to another page... see how that might go... might not work.. he he he he he............ im drinking coffee ( bet you are not surprised... ) COPS is on tv... ooooh, " Buffy is on at 1230am sat night/ sun morning and 1130 sunday night.... I think it is at 1230am... hold on let me go and check.... dang... i cant find my TV guide... oooh have it... well that is useless... they changed the format of the listings.... now why did they go and do that??? UUGGHH... something else to try to figuar out.....Anyway =0)

03/02/2004

Well the question has been asked..... and time to think will be taken...wondering.... time to think.... too soon... maybe... chances given.... chances taken.... life is founded on love, we stand for love, we fight for love... time for me to stand for something....

What are the events that hold you in a moment??? I can recall events in my life that make a wonderment... that make me want to hide and never seek light... but, i can also recall moments in my life that make me crave the light, crave the knowledge that could be gained if only i would step out, step into a challenge..... but the challenge at hand, i cannot abide by... i seek so much... what i need to seek out... is what is inside of me... see what it is that is there....negative??? no, just being realistic... me realistic lol almost too funny... but i am analitical, which makes me a realist... others around me would laugh at that thought... i can make the world laugh.. without any effort... but i can also make the world think with less effort... maybe... it was something i was told years ago... i may not put light in everyones eyes that i meet, i may not make everyones day brighter because i have entered a room... but if just one person smiles because of me then my day is all the worth getting up for...

there was a time when i thought my writing wasnt something to be shared...i thought it would matter if they were read or not.. then 6.3 yrs ago i shared them.... and since that day i have been sharing my thoughts... i may not be on the best seller list, or have fans to read what i write.. but i will say this... i am thankful everyday that i can place something here... and i hope one day that there will be a book... from my own thoughts...put to paper.. and in the hands of someone else... dreams of many... =0) have a day filled with smiles by the millions and hugs to follow.. jolie

so long since i have tried to find the strength to carry a mountain of truth in my heart.. so long since these arms have felt love within them... so long since my eyes have seen the gaze of a lover looking back... when did it all stop... when i turned from love and let it crash down.. when i turned from the only one who would ever trully love me for me... why would anyone turn from what they knew would be eternal... they turn because of the fear of what might be if they knew what was really inside... i could give a million reasons for my haste.. i could give a million reasons for the mistakes i have made in my life.. reasons.. or excuses??? i will one day be able to look myself in the mirror and not wonder who i am....

THIS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU DECIDE

TO CHANGE THE COLOR OF YOUR HAIR WITHOUT THINKING

12/14/2003 1149am Sunday

where is it that life leads????...into the truth

i know nothing if complete happiness.. but i have known happiness, joy, life, and even of love... but to know complete happiness.... some day

i look back at everything i have written... even further back than the past 5 years.. to see where i have been... and maybe give me a sign of where it is i am going... i find that my life does a 360 every so often... i am back where i was before... i look and say.. i know this place... i have been here before... whether it was during times of happiness or times of pain, i know this so well... right now... there is pain... not more than i can handle... but it is there... making me aware that i am alive and getting throughit.. with each day something else said... pain brought by words can heal....pain brought by words are always remembered... scaring the mind and the heart... but it does heal... leaving a rememberance... i was asked what i wanted.... i want so much... too much i think... i am trying to convice myself that i do not need anything... but i do... more than anyone can give... i need to feel safe .. i need arms that can hold me when i am down, when i am happy... i have never really felt safe... i thought i have... but i dont... but, i have a place that i can go, and i feel safe there.. but i cannot stay there forever.. i would miss so much if i did... so this is me.. this is where i am right now... i still hold onto hope.. and dreams of one day the place i go to will become more of reality than in my mind..." hold fast to dreams...for when dreams go, life is like a barren field filled frozen with snow... hold fast to dreams for when dreams die... life is like a broken winged bird that cannot fly... " ( l. hughes ) that is one i have remember'd since i was about 13... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A soft peck on the cheek was our first kiss.

I wanted more after that-- to feel your warm lips

My cheek caressing the sweetness of your smile.

I wanted to taste you on my tongue

A warm preview of things yet unspoken.

I wanted your arms around me holding me tight

Pressed against your body feeling your warmth.

I wanted you nuzzled against my neck

Kissing softly, breathing lightly.

I wanted to hear you sigh as I kissed your cheek softly again and again.

I wanted you to take me passionately into your arms,

press your lips to mine and kiss me

Feverishly as if there was no tomorrow.

I wanted you to hold me, press my head against your chest and listen to your heartbeat...

Now quickening.

I wanted you to look at me, take my face in your hands

Pull me closer and tell me how much you care.

I wanted you to pull me closer yet, let our lips lightly touch

Feeling each of us tremble with desire.

I wanted your kiss, your passion, your desire.

At that first moment, I knew I wanted you... Forever

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